We’re having a heat wave in Denmark now, and this is a country that is not really built for it. There’s very little air conditioning outside of movie theaters and shopping malls. Danish homes are built to keep heat in, not out.
So on a hot day, especially on a hot day when you can’t get away to the nearest body of water – you’re never too far from the coast in Denmark – can make you feel heavy and lazy, unwilling to cook anything to eat, unable to sleep at night.
These are the perfect conditions for brok.
Complaining as a social activity
Brok rhymes with clock, and it is a Danish word that describes the petty complaints that are common in one of the happiest countries in the world, and one of the richest.
It’s complaining as a social activity, usually about things that are more irritating than dangerous.
What is brok?
Brok is, “the noise from my neighbor’s battery-powered garden equipment is offensive and destroying my sunny Saturday morning.”
But the noise from my battery-powered garden equipment is just a part of taking care of nature.
Brok is, “those children running across the grass screaming are badly behaved.”
But my children are energetic and enjoying the free play that is a true part of Danish childhood.
Brok is, “that music coming from the festival down the street is annoying, and they should turn it down, or turn it off.”
Of course, my music played very loudly outdoors is a way of sharing the joy of a really good tune – it would be wrong to keep it all to myself.
Warts and all
Complaints about outdoor music, with the inevitable response that people who don’t appreciate loud beats until well after midnight should just move to the countryside and talk to the flowers, are classic Danish summer brok.
So are complaints about the fun running and cycling events that keep shutting down traffic in Danish cities on weekends, so you can’t get where you’re going without weaving through huge crowds of cops and cheering family members.
Common in the coffee room
I feel there’s more Danish brok in the summer because people come into contact with each other, the joy of spring is gone, and the bugs are coming out, and it can be so hot.
But really brok can be a year-round occupation.
It’s particularly common in the coffee room or lunchroom on job sites, where Danes complain about their working conditions, the Danish government, the Danish public health system, Danish public transport, in particular the national train service DSB or, the all-time favorite, the exasperating Danish weather.
Don’t make enemies
Brok is a way of bonding – “aren’t we all irritated by the same thing?”
And a way of blowing off steam without ever confronting anyone directly, which is always a bit dangerous in Denmark. The country is so small.
When I counsel newcomers to Denmark, I always tell them never to make an enemy in this country, because you will meet the same people again and again.
Denmark is a small town
This is particularly true within a small town, or a big-city neighborhood, or any industry.
Get in a conflict with someone and your best friend will end up calling their husband for a business deal, or the boyfriend of the woman whose nice email you never bothered to answer ends up interviewing you on the radio, or your former boss at a job you left in a snit will sit down next to you at a networking event.
All of which have happened to me.
“Conflict-shy”
It’s an interesting contradiction that the Danes can be very direct – they will tell you, for example, if they don’t have time to talk to you or aren’t interested in whatever topic you are going on about – but are at the same time they are konfliktsky or conflict-shy when it comes to a true difference of opinion.
Not on social media, where Danes can be remarkably blunt posting under their real names, but certainly in person.
No public fights
You will rarely hear someone having a fight in public in Denmark. You will rarely hear anyone raise their voice.
Instead, the chosen weapon is silence, sullenness, the passive refusal to do things they don’t want to do.
And, as soon as you get out of earshot, brok.