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newcomers to copenhagen, made with Midjourney by Kay Xander Mellish
Podcasts, Stories about life in Denmark

13 Quick Tips for Newcomers to Copenhagen

Since I’ve lived in Denmark for some time, it can be hard to get in the headspace of a newcomer.

But that was my assignment recently when I spoke to a couple of hundred new students at the University of Copenhagen, who had just arrived in Denmark the day before.

I thought that some of these tips might be useful to you, my podcast listeners.

So here we go, lightning round, word association style.

Get an ugly bicycle in Copenhagen

Bicycle. When you arrive in Copenhagen, get one quickly, and get an ugly one. Don’t get a fancy one that is exciting to thieves. Denmark has a bicycle culture, but it also has a big bicycle theft culture.

A good option is a second-hand bike, but get it someplace legit, because if you get it from some random online you might find yourself riding someone else’s stolen bike.

Biking gives you freedom, it can take you anywhere at any time in any season in Denmark. And if you don’t know how to ride a bike, the Danish Red Cross has free classes for adults.

Yes, you do have to pay for public transport in Denmark

Transport tickets. There are no fare gates on the Danish metro or bus or train. You’re just trusted to buy a ticket.

However, there are controllers that go around and check, and if you don’t have precisely the right ticket when they check you, you will get a big fine.

Don’t bother with a dramatic story about how you didn’t understand the ticket system because you’re an innocent child from a faraway land.

Don’t cry. It doesn’t work, I’ve tried.

Keep your dignity, pay the fine, and then if you think it’s unfair, email the transport company. You can often get the fine reduced, in particular if it’s your first fine.

First names only in Danish culture

First names only. In Denmark, everybody goes by their first name. That includes university professors, bosses, priests, schoolteachers, doctors, even the prime minister. Mette. Mette Frederiksen.

Nobody uses Mr or Mrs or Doctor titles.

This is also true for older people. You don’t have to address them as Ma’am or Sir or Aunty or any of the other forms of respect common in other cultures. Just their first names – it’s what they want.

Always be on time in Denmark

Time and trust: Being on time is a big part of building trust in Denmark. A 10am class really is a 10am class, a 2pm meeting really is a 2pm meeting, and even for social events you have to be on time.

If someone invites you for dinner at 7 you really have to be there at 7.00.00. Otherwise your food will be cold. None of this turning up fashionably late.

And if you say that you’re going to be someplace, you really do have to turn up, or the Danes will be heartbroken. They were counting on you.

Splitting the check on a date in Denmark

Dating. Dating in Denmark is very egalitarian. The check is usually split in half. If it’s a male female date, the man may offer to pay, the woman might say no, and that doesn’t mean the date is a flop. People just like to be equal.

In general, Danes can be prickly about someone else picking up the check in a restaurant, even with friends – they do not want to feel obligated. Usually everyone splits the bill.

The exception is your birthday, when you pay for everything.

How to party if you don’t drink alcohol in Denmark

Drinking. Not all of Danish social life still centers on alcohol, but a lot still does. If you don’t drink alcohol , I’d recommend going to parties and Friday bars anyway and having elderflower juice, hyldeblomst. It’s a local favorite, light and sweet with zero alcohol.

You can also have what they call danskvand, or Danish water, that’s just plain water with bubbles in it. Put in a lemon or lime, it looks like a cocktail, nobody’s going to ask you any questions.

If you do drink alcohol, beer is generally pretty cheap in Denmark, wine less so, and cocktails very expensive. It’s common for a group of friends to drink at home before they go out to save money. (The Danes call it warm, in other words, warming up to a night on the town.)

Saving money in Copenhagen

Saving money. Restaurants and cafés and takeout are all very expensive here, so you’ve got to learn to cook for yourself or you’ll go broke. Look for items in supermarkets with yellow labels. Yellow is the color of discounts in Denmark.

Supermarkets often cut the price on food the day before it goes out of date. If you eat meat, you can buy a lot of this discount about-to-expire meat, freeze it, and eat it whenever you like. (I also recommend the app To Good To Go which offers discounts on “surprise bags” of bakery products, sushi, and other about-to-expire food as an initiative to avoid food waste.)

One thing you cannot do here is negotiate a discount at the supermarket checkout, and yes, I have seen people try. Flea markets, yes, supermarkets no.

You’ll notice that many of the staff in supermarkets are under 18. That’s because employers are legally allowed to pay young people less.

Your doctor in Denmark

Your doctor. Every person in Denmark legally gets to choose a primary care doctor, this is the famous tax-funded universal care. The doctors are self-employed, they own their clinics, but they are paid by the government, you don’t pay to see them.

What you do have pay for is medicine. If you need a prescription, they’ll send it electronically to a central system and you can pick it up at any pharmacy in Denmark, the price is the same everywhere.

That said, Danish doctors are often reluctant to prescribe medicine, in particular sleeping medication and antibiotics. These are t ough to get.

When you need someone to talk to in Denmark

Mental health. It’s August, it’s the light times, now is the time to start finding friend groups and activities, because the dark times are on their way. You do not want to be sitting all alone in your room during the dark times – November, December, January, February.

If you’re in Denmark and feeling alone and desperate, and the wait to talk to your doctor or to a free public counselor is too long, you can always make an appointment with a Danish priest.

Now, don’t freak out. You don’t even have to be a Christian! In the Danish state church, the priests are often middle-aged women. They’re not going to wear a funny outfit or talk too much about Jesus. They’ll just listen to you.

If you really need someone to talk to, a Danish priest from the state church is available in every neighborhood in Denmark. It’s fast, and it’s free. Don’t wait.

(Find your local branch of the state church in Denmark here.)

Hanging out with the Danish Royal Family

The Danish Royal Family. They are not big celebrities like the British Royal Family, you will see them walking around, especially in Copenhagen. I remember when I first got here looking through the window of a hair salon and seeing the then-Queen getting her hair washed.

If you’re a young person like the people in my university audience, you might see Crown Prince Christian, the future king, out having a few beers. He’s 20, whatever, he likes beer. Same for his sister, who is 19 and currently in the Danish Army. When she gets a break she probably likes some beers as well.

If you’re single and heterosexual, keep in mind that Danish Royals always marry foreigners, never other Danes. The current King married a woman from Australia, his Mom married a Frenchman, his grandpa a Swede, his great-grandpa a German. So you have a chance.

Quiet, taxis, gifts in Denmark

Quiet. Denmark is a quiet country. You might be on a bus or a train FaceTiming with a friend at home and see a Dane looking at you in a disapproving way.

You might think it’s because you are a foreigner, and that could be true, but it could also be because you’re loud.

With the exception of those drunken Friday bars, this is a quiet country.

Listen to the traffic: there are almost no horns honking. Most Danish trains have a “silent car” where no one is allowed to talk or play music.

Danes like peacefulness. If you are loud, voice loud, music loud, TikTok on your phone with no earphones loud, any type of loud, you are going to get funny looks.

Taxis. Taxis aren’t as common here as they are in many other big cities, because public transport is reliable and clean and used by every social class. And taxis are expensive.

You can’t really call a taxi by raising your arm like you do in Hong Kong or New York City.

You have to go to a taxi stand or call a taxi to where you are, or use the local taxi app. And the local version of Uber is just another version of the local taxi app.

If you absolutely must use a taxi, perhaps if you have a lot of luggage, use the fixed price option in the app. This will help you avoid getting an unscheduled tour of the city.

Gifts. In many countries, gifts are a social cue and and important part of doing business, but not in Denmark.

You should never give your professor or your boss flowers or candy or any other kind of gift. They’ll be very uncomfortable if you do. They see it as a form of corruption, which is not OK in Denmark.

You also should not offer money to university administrators to get what you want, such as a better housing assignment, or to municipal officials or immigration staff to get them to bend the rules.

They will be angry if you do. This is not the Danish way.

Brok: The Danish Art of Petty Complaints
Podcasts, Stories about life in Denmark

Brok: The Danish art of petty complaints

We’re having a heat wave in Denmark now, and this is a country that is not really built for it. There’s very little air conditioning outside of movie theaters and shopping malls. Danish homes are built to keep heat in, not out.

So on a hot day, especially on a hot day when you can’t get away to the nearest body of water – you’re never too far from the coast in Denmark – can make you feel heavy and lazy, unwilling to cook anything to eat, unable to sleep at night.

These are the perfect conditions for brok.

Complaining as a social activity

Brok rhymes with clock, and it is a Danish word that describes the petty complaints that are common in one of the happiest countries in the world, and one of the richest.

It’s complaining as a social activity, usually about things that are more irritating than dangerous.

What is brok?

Brok is, “the noise from my neighbor’s battery-powered garden equipment is offensive and destroying my sunny Saturday morning.”

But the noise from my battery-powered garden equipment is just a part of taking care of nature.

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Everyday life in Denmark book the Danish Year
Books, Stories about life in Denmark, The Danish Year

New Book! The Danish Year, 12 Months of Customs, Quirks, and Rhythms of Everyday Life in Denmark

Why do Danes “hit a cat out of a barrel” in February, set a single candle in the window in May, disappear for three weeks in July, and set out a bowl of porridge for a mythical “nisse” in December?

What are the aspects of the Danish year that aren’t on any calendar?

You’ll find the answers to these questions and so much more in our new book, The Danish Year: Twelve Months of Customs, Quirks, and Rhythms of Everyday Life in Denmark, available exclusively on Amazon Kindle for only DK35/USD 5.

(If you don’t have a Kindle, you can still read this short book on your tablet or phone using the Kindle app.)

Why is this book electronic-only?

After more than 10 years of putting out print books, I’ve chosen to debut this one as electronic-only on Amazon Kindle.

Why?

🔴 It’s short – only 89 pages – and going online allows me to sell it at a modest price that’s within most people’s budgets. And online publication allows for color illustration, which would make a print book very expensive.

🟡 Short books fit the way people read now. Our attention spans are fractured, sadly, and as a passionate reader myself, I have plenty of half-read books around the house.

The Amazon Kindle app allows people to read the book wherever and whenever they have time, on their tablets, phones, and or Kindle readers if they have one. (I do.)

🔴 Online books can be revised as circumstances evolve. Although this book isn’t really a news book, small facts do change (such as the name of the Danish prime minister), and it’s nice to be able to revise information that would otherwise make the book look dated.

New strategy

My new strategy is this: as opposed to writing one big book every few years (How to Work in Denmark, my previous book, came out in 2022) I plan to write 1-2 short books per year.

Some will also be published on paper, and some will just live online as part of my new “𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐋𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐃𝐞𝐧𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐬” series on Amazon.

learn to be Danish
Podcasts, Stories about life in Denmark, The Danish Year

August, The first day of school, and how children learn to be Danish: The Danish Year Part 8

I’ve referred to “The Danish Year” before on How to Live in Denmark. It’s a series of events that are simply expected to happen every year in Denmark, even if they aren’t formal holidays. Now a book about these Danish customs is available. It’s called The Danish Year: Twelve Months of Customs, Quirks, and Rhythms of Everyday Life in Denmark, and it’s exclusive to Amazon Kindle.

August in Denmark is the beginning of fall. The summer strawberries disappear from the supermarket, the leaves start to turn brown on the trees, and the primary schools open again, after their usual brief six-week summer vacation.

This month some young Danes will be starting school for the very first time. They’re usually welcomed with a ceremony that includes Danish flags, speeches, and songs, and their parents, who take a lot of photos of the first day of school.

This was something I unfortunately didn’t know when my own daughter had her first day of school in Denmark. She’d already been going to playground classes there, so on the first official academic day I just dropped her off at school as if it were an ordinary day, and there nobody there to take her picture.

Such is being a foreigner and not knowing the local customs. She still brings it up to this day.

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Stories about life in Denmark

Moving to Denmark, a Guide for Americans

Moving to Denmark as an American has become a hot topic recently; I hear a lot from Americans interested in immigration to Denmark.

Since I’m selling books called How to Live in Denmark and How to Work in Denmark, you’d think I would encourage as many Americans as possible to look into Denmark immigration.

But moving to Denmark with a U.S. passport isn’t as easy as just buying a plane ticket and a lot of sweaters.

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Stories about life in Denmark

Denmark and World War II: Thoughts on an anniversary

Anyone who takes a walk around Copenhagen is bound to run across one of the hundreds of concrete bunkers that were built to defend Danes from air raids during World War II.

There are a couple in the park near my house, huge slabs of grey concrete now partially covered by greenery. Many of the interiors have been renovated, and the bunkers are very popular with up-and-coming rock bands, who use them as soundproof rehearsal halls.

The bunkers were never used for their intended purpose.

The German occupying force rolled in by land, and Denmark surrendered almost immediately – the flat Danish landscape would have been no match for the powerful Nazi tank divisions of 1940. Denmark was occupied for more than 5 years.

Tomorrow evening – Monday, May 4, 2020 – many Danes will put a candle in the window to mark the 75th anniversary of the end of that occupation.

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Stories about life in Denmark

Denmark’s Weapons Against COVID-19: Early Action, High Trust—and a No-Nonsense Queen

The worst-case coronavirus scenario is as terrifying in Denmark as it is everywhere else. There is no guarantee that the Danish health system will have the resources to help everyone who needs care. And the economy might be in tatters when the quarantine ends.

But for now, there is a certain pleasure in watching the gentle social machinery of the Danish state swing into action.

At the lakes in downtown Copenhagen—the city’s former moat—kindly city employees in safety vests make sure everyone runs or strolls in a clockwise direction, minimizing the chance of close face-to-face encounters.

The Danish police sent a friendly message to every mobile telephone in the country, reminding recipients to practice social distancing as you “enjoy your weekend.”

And Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen made an appearance on the Instagram account of Denmark’s top Gen-Z influencer, Anders Hemmingsen. She empathized with teens’ desire to go out and party, but encouraged them to stay home and tolerate their parents for a little longer.

I occasionally write for other media outlets and websites. The above is an excerpt for a piece about how Denmark handles coronavirus that I wrote for Quillette, an international magazine devoted to free thought.

Read the entire piece in Quillette here.


Hear all our How to Live in Denmark podcasts on Spotify and on Apple Podcasts.

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COVID-19 in Denmark: A few thoughts

Stories about life in Denmark

Coronavirus and Denmark: A few thoughts

The first Danish Coronavirus case was diagnosed on February 27, and so many things have changed in Denmark over the past four weeks.

Most notable, of course, is the misery of the people infected with the virus, the pain of the families who have lost loved ones, and the Herculean efforts of the health care workers who care for them.

But daily life has changed for ordinary citizens as well, and not just because many of us aren’t quite sure what will be happening with our jobs and exactly how we will be paying the rent in the future, not to mention all that online shopping from home we’ve been doing during quarantine.

Schools are closed, with the kids (more or less) learning from home, and many of their parents are (more or less) working from home too. Cinemas, shops, gyms, and swimming halls have been shut down in an attempt to break the chain of infections. Concerts and sporting events are canceled.

Confirmations scheduled for the spring have been put off – a crushing disappointment for the teenagers who have spent the past 6 months in Bible studies with hopes of a big spring party.

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Podcasts, Stories about life in Denmark

Drinking in Denmark

Earlier this year, my daughter and I visited several Danish high schools to help her decide where she’ll continue her education. We looked at the classrooms, and at the laboratories – my daughter likes science. We looked at the athletic faculties, and we looked at the bars.

Yes, most of the high schools we visited had a bar, or at least a café where they serve the students beer on tap, or hard cider in cans, or alco-pops in bottles when they want to relax after class.

Now, high school students are usually 16 to 19 years old, and the legal purchase age for wine and beer in Denmark is 16, so it’s all totally legal.

It’s just a bit surprising when you come from anyplace where teenagers are encouraged not to drink alcohol to find a bar conveniently located next to the school gym.

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Podcasts, Stories about life in Denmark

Debt in Denmark

January, February, and March are some of the dreariest months in Denmark – it’s dark, with no Christmas lights to pep it up – and many people are dealing with a heavy load of year-end debt from travelling, parties, dining out, and gifts.

Along with religion, personal finances (privatøkonomi, which many Danes insist on directly translating to “my private economy”) is a topic that is rarely discussed in Denmark. But the country has one of the highest rates of household debt in the world.

And once you get into debt in Denmark, it can be very difficult to get out.

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