Browsing Tag

manners

New Book! The Danish Year, 12 Months of Customs, Quirks, and Rhythms of Everyday Life in Denmark

Why do Danes “hit a cat out of a barrel” in February, set a single candle in the window in May, disappear for three weeks in July, and set out a bowl of porridge for a mythical “nisse” in December?

What are the aspects of the Danish year that aren’t on any calendar?

You’ll find the answers to these questions and so much more in our new book, The Danish Year: Twelve Months of Customs, Quirks, and Rhythms of Everyday Life in Denmark, available exclusively on Amazon Kindle for only DK35/USD 5.

(If you don’t have a Kindle, you can still read this short book on your tablet or phone using the Kindle app.)

Why is this book electronic-only?

After more than 10 years of putting out print books, I’ve chosen to debut this one as electronic-only on Amazon Kindle.

Why?

🔴 It’s short – only 89 pages – and going online allows me to sell it at a modest price that’s within most people’s budgets. And online publication allows for color illustration, which would make a print book very expensive.

🟡 Short books fit the way people read now. Our attention spans are fractured, sadly, and as a passionate reader myself, I have plenty of half-read books around the house.

The Amazon Kindle app allows people to read the book wherever and whenever they have time, on their tablets, phones, and or Kindle readers if they have one. (I do.)

🔴 Online books can be revised as circumstances evolve. Although this book isn’t really a news book, small facts do change (such as the name of the Danish prime minister), and it’s nice to be able to revise information that would otherwise make the book look dated.

New strategy

My new strategy is this: as opposed to writing one big book every few years (How to Work in Denmark, my previous book, came out in 2022) I plan to write 1-2 short books per year.

Some will also be published on paper, and some will just live online as part of my new “𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐋𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐃𝐞𝐧𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐬” series on Amazon.

April 22, 2026 by Kay Xander Mellish

Podcasts, Stories about life in Denmark

The Spontaneous Dane: Why Friendship Needs a Calendar

People who move to Denmark often complain that Danes are not spontaneous. Trying to strike up a conversation with someone in the street or in public transport is usually a non-starter. Even when you know people, getting together has to be planned well in advance. Calendars fill up quickly.

There’s an old joke that if two Italians meet in the street, having not seen each other in a long time, they’ll go get a spur-of-the-moment cup of coffee and catch up.

Two Danes run into each other – they’ll both reach for their calendars and figure out when, in the near future, they might have time to catch up.

What about next Thursday afternoon after work and before dinner? No? How about the following Wednesday?

Spur of the moment beer by the water

The only exception is spring. This time of year, when the snow is gone and the buds finally start to come out on the trees, an unexpected afternoon of sunshine is a great excuse to toss aside all of your pre-existing plans and go have a beer by the water.

And there is almost always place to have a beer by the water, wherever you are in Denmark.

March 30, 2026 by Kay Xander Mellish

Podcasts, Stories about life in Denmark

The Spontaneous Dane: Why Friendship Needs a Calendar

There’s an old joke that if two Italians meet in the street, having not seen each other in a long time, they’ll go get a spur-of-the-moment cup of coffee and catch up.

Two Danes run into each other – they’ll both reach for their calendars and figure out when, in the near future, they might have time to catch up.

What about next Thursday afternoon after work and before dinner? No? How about the following Wednesday?

Spur of the moment beer by the water

And there is almost always place to have a beer by the water, wherever you are in Denmark.

March 29, 2026 by Kay Xander Mellish

Podcasts, Stories about life in Denmark

Danish dinner party customs, and why it’s OK if you break your Royal Copenhagen dishes

Some might say that the most Danish piece of furniture is the chair. The Swan Chair, the Egg Chair, the Wishbone chair. They’re all international design classics. You can buy a poster with 100 of the top Danish chairs, and if you go to Designmuseum Danmark there is a hall of chairs you walk through, the display cases stacked three high. Chairs, chairs, everywhere.

But I think the most Danish piece of furniture is the table. It is where traditional Danish cuisine is enjoyed, and sitting around the table, and sitting and sitting and sitting there for hours after a long meal, is where hygge reigns and people are included – or excluded, as the case may be.

February 15, 2026 by Kay Xander Mellish

Podcasts, Stories about life in Denmark, Uncategorized

Dining in Denmark

Unlike the Norwegians, Swedes, and some Germans, the Danes don’t show their cultural pride by dressing up in 19th century folk costumes. (As a matter of fact, the first time I ever saw a Danish folk costume was at a festival in California.)

Instead, Danes express their cultural pride through food.

When visiting Denmark, you’ll be offered Danish cuisine, and expressing enthusiasm for it will go a long way towards generating harmony with your Danish friends.

Flæskesteg, Denmark’s national dish
The good news is, dining in Denmark offers something for everyone.

If you’re a carnivore, don’t miss the Danish pork dishes, particularly flæskesteg. That’s a crispy, fatty fried pork that’s often called Denmark’s national dish, served with sugary caramelized potatoes and braised red cabbage.

For people who prefer fish, there’s a great selection in this country surrounded by water.

January 25, 2021 by Kay Xander Mellish

Podcasts, Stories about life in Denmark

Politeness in Denmark: Some thoughts on Danish etiquette

“Is there politeness in Denmark?”

That was the question I was recently invited on a national TV show to discuss.

The implication was that I was supposed to say that Danes were not at all polite, because effusive praise and cheerful agreement make for a rather dull TV show.

But Danes are not impolite. They have their own version of courteous behaviour, which is based on reinforcing aspects of their culture that they care about.

October 13, 2019 by Kay Xander Mellish

Podcasts, Stories about life in Denmark

Summer vacation in Denmark: The agony and the ecstasy

Planning your summer vacation in Denmark is like playing the lottery. You could hit it lucky, with golden days and long, warm evenings, when you can sit with friends in the soft light and drink hyldeblomst cocktails.

Or you could get grey day after grey day, interspersed with a little rain whenever it is least convenient. The weather could be chilly, leaving your cute new summer clothes to sit disappointed in your closet while you wear your boring long trousers again and again.

June 14, 2019 by Kay Xander Mellish

Podcasts, Stories about life in Denmark

April Fool’s in Denmark, and the rough game of Danish humor

April 1st is April Fool’s Day – Aprilsnar in Danish – and each Danish newspaper will feature a clever but false story for the unwary to be fooled by.

Last year, for example, there was a story that the Danish police were switching their siren colors from blue to red to match the Danish flag.

There was also a report that the perennially messy discount supermarket Netto was launching a discount airline – Jetto.

And a local TV station ran a piece about how an acute shortage of daycare workers meant the Danish army had to be called in. It showed video of the battle-hardened tough guys in combat uniforms, reading aloud from storybooks and helping with toilet training.

April 1, 2019 by Kay Xander Mellish

Podcasts, Stories about life in Denmark

Gift Giving in Denmark: Package games, almond gifts, and why it’s OK to exchange whatever you get

Like so many other aspects of life in Denmark, gift giving in the holiday season comes with dozens of unwritten rules and unspoken expectations.

Should you give a gift to your boss? What about your colleagues? Will you and your Danish friends exchange gifts? And why does almost every store in Denmark ask if you want a “gift sticker” when you buy something?

Here are a few basic tips about gift giving in Denmark.

Gift giving isn’t the most important thing
First of all, it’s important to emphasize that gift giving is not the most important thing about the holiday season in Denmark. Food is the most important thing, from the roast pork to the caramelised potatoes to the shredded red cabbage to the buttery Christmas cookies.

Alcohol is probably the second-most important.

And neither one is any good without the hygge of being together with your family at Christmas dinner, or your colleagues at the work Christmas lunch, or your football friends at your team holiday party.

Gift giving runs a distant fourth, so don’t get too worried about not choosing the perfect gift. That’s what the “gift sticker” is for – it means the recipient will be able to take your carefully-chosen gift back to the store and exchange it for something they’d like better.

November 23, 2018 by Kay Xander Mellish

Podcasts, Stories about life in Denmark

No planned hangovers: 13 years after moving to Denmark, here are some ways I won’t fit in

More than a decade after moving to Denmark, I am pretty well integrated into Danish society.

I’ve learned to speak Danish, I pay my taxes, I bike everywhere, I send my daughter to a Danish school. I enjoy a nice slice of dark rye rugbrød – even when I’m on my own and don’t have to impress anyone with how healthy I’m eating.

But there are a few ways I simply refuse to integrate. I will not do things the Danish way.

January 9, 2014 by Kay Xander Mellish

Older Posts

Kay Xander Mellish is a US-DK dual citizen. She grew up in Wisconsin, USA, but has lived in Denmark for more than a decade. Kay is a popular keynote speaker on Danish working culture and offers practical advice to international professionals navigating Danish work environments.

In addition, she helps Americans and Danes avoid misunderstandings and improve their cross-cultural teamwork.

Kay is the author of "The Danish Year" (2026), "How to Work in Denmark" (2022 and 2018), "How to Live in Denmark" (2017 and 2014), "Top 35 Mistakes Danes Make in English" (2016), "Working with Americans: Tips for Danes" (2019), and "Working with Danes: Tips for Americans" (2020). Her books are also available in audio format.