This essay is from a series I wrote shortly after I arrived in Denmark. The line drawings are my own.
Danes like to see themselves as a relaxed, casual society that doesn’t put too much emphasis on formal manners.
That said, there are powerful unwritten rules about Danish manners that will earn you sullen, silent disapproval if you do not follow them.
For example, when sharing food with the Danes, you may not take the last item on any given plate.
You may take half of it, and it is quite entertaining to watch the last of a plate of delicious cookies be halved, and halved again, and then halved one last time, so there is only a tiny crumb left – which no one will take because it is the last item on the plate. Someone will gobble it guiltily later in the kitchen during clean-up.
Bring your own birthday cake
If it is your birthday, your friends or colleagues will congratulate you heartily, and celebrate by putting a Danish flag on your desk, regardless of what your actual nationality may be. They will not, however, be providing any sweets.
That’s your job, and it is considered good form to bring a cake or fruit tart for the after-lunch period. If your workplace is particularly busy, you can just announce by group email that the cake is in the kitchen for whenever anybody has time. There, each colleague can cut his or her own piece, carefully slicing the last bit into tinier and tinier halves so you will have a small, nearly transparent sliver to take home with you at the end of the day.