Julefrokost season is just around the corner, which means that within the next two months you are likely to be seated at a long, thin table (or unwieldy round table) for many hours next to someone you may or may not have something in common with.

Danes have grown up with this structure, which means they know how to carefully balance a bit of small talk with a person to their left, a bit more with the person to their right, and perhaps a bit of shouting across the table, over the serving dishes and the hostesses’ favorite centerpiece.

But it can be difficult for newcomers, who are used to a more fluid party structure where people are constantly on the move, and where the bore you are seated next to can be quickly discarded in favor of an old friend you actually like, or someone across the room who might be more entertaining or attractive.